The Fire Within May 20, 2013 23:40:09 GMT -4
Post by Deleted on May 20, 2013 23:40:09 GMT -4
Retrace LXX - Cold blood. ????
Closing my eyes and wishing all of this away won't do a thing. I've argued with logic, fought bloody battles with shadows, and still I've gotten nowhere. I've fallen, but I seem to be no further away from the surface than I was the day I first opened my eyes to this world. The air around me will forever feel heavy and unbearable, nearly impossible to catch breath in and suffocating. This pressure I feel comes with a heavy heart, but at that same time I feel nothing but weightlessness, as if I were being suspended in-between the waves of a pitch-black sea. Constantly my eyes are strained by the faint eerie glow of light in the unreachable distance, but the hope that one day I'll get there never seems to wear away. This place has a chain around me, many in-fact, that keep me from ever going anywhere. I want to cry out for help, beg for the mercy that one day my eyes will shut and I'll never have to open them again.
I've been through this all before, for years this has been all I can think of; wishing for an escape is all I've ever known, but I've failed for so long to throw away everything in order to get it. That's why I'm here, and why I cannot ever leave. This place had to become my salvation, but only know have I realized how I've been locked away in a prison by my very own hands. There is nobody to blame but myself. Nobody to take the fall for the mistakes I've made and will continue to make. No.. this is the responsibility I should have taken so long ago when this all began. Now I'll pay for it, and never stop paying for it until the day I draw my last breath. I cannot leave, cannot stop fighting. For whatever end? I'll never know. The only thing I want now is satisfaction, to surrender myself to this suffering at last. I'm not going anywhere, and I know this now. I have nothing left to lose, and I'm so tired of running.
I'll see this through until the end.