Half Jack || Eli Mar 3, 2014 1:33:35 GMT -4
Post by Hepzibah Abigail Warren on Mar 3, 2014 1:33:35 GMT -4
Abigail was running out of denial. Well, she had been out of denial for a long time. She had been getting too sick for too long, feeling too sore and sensitive for it to be just a common sickness. Coming to grips with what was actually happening to her was so much harder than anything she had ever done. It felt ungodly, both knowing what she had done to let this happen to her in the first place and knowing how irresponsible she was. There was a very real sense of dread that kept creeping up on her every time she managed to put it out of her mind for too long.
It was different from the sense of danger and foreboding that followed most humans around. Abigail was generally an optimistic person, but she didn't think she could handle something quite like this. She had only done okay taking care of herself, just one grown person. How could she possibly expect to do more than that? She had spent so much time being so independent and so alone that she didn't think she had the capabilities as a person to raise someone else. Even though she had the inherent desires to nurture and protect, she... she couldn't do something like this.
There were a few obstacles that she knew she couldn't keep delaying. Acceptance was the first hurdle she had only just barely been able to stumble over. She was still perfectly mobile and still felt pretty good, at least compared to what she knew was going to be coming up in the months following. She didn't want anyone to dote on her and take care of her, especially not now when she was still clinging to the one last sliver of independence she had. She was hardly one to deny when she needed help, but she didn't need it now. At least not the kind where she might burden someone.
Elijah was the last person she wanted to burden. Even less did she want to tell him what had happened to her. She knew that he wasn't going to be happy and congratulatory. If she knew as much about him as she thought she did, his first instinct would be to hunt down the one who had done this to her. Even if Abigail supported him doing something like that, she hadn't seen Carter since they had separated from the first time they had met. She didn't want to tell him, either. But Elijah mattered too much to her for her to keep something like this from him.
She remembered vaguely where he lived. Armed with her pike she marched with bravado she knew she didn't have to the university, navigating her way with steadily declining confidence to the frat houses. More than once the thought of turning and leaving to come back and face Eli later, when she felt better, occurred to her, but she knew there was nothing she could do to keep delaying this. It wasn't going to be easy to tell him and she didn't even have the mildest idea of what she was going to tell him when she did find him.
Abigail had to go by a few different houses, pressing her ear to each door, hearing only the deadened shuffling of Lessers inside or nothing inside. And she supposed it was possible that he was asleep -- it was the middle of the day -- and if that was the case she figured she would have to come back later.
But pressing her ear to the door, when she heard a voice -- clearly that of a female -- calling out Eli's name, she knew exactly which house was his. And the noises coming from what sounded like somewhere further in the house nearly drove her away. As much as she wanted to take this very obvious out, she knew that if she left now she wouldn't come back anytime soon. She hated being so afraid of Elijah, the one person she knew she could always depend on. Despite her gut telling her to leave and not come back for a long time, she raised her fist and pounded on the door a few times.