Explanations || Mercer Nov 16, 2013 9:47:03 GMT -4
Post by Sierra "Jinx" Richardson on Nov 16, 2013 9:47:03 GMT -4
She was still very much confused by the reaction that she got from her offer to release him. Sure, she could have understood if he had gotten mad at her for it, the others in the past had, and she could even understand if he had thought she meant to do so just to fuck with him. But this, this was something else entirely and though she wasn't sure what it was, she would almost venture to guess that her big strong Reaver had issues with being left and abandoned. It was a prospect which tugged at her heart slightly, and only because it was Mercer...had it been anyone else she really couldn't have been bothered to care...at all.
Soothing him, she watched as he closed his eyes, trying to fight back the tears as she continued to try and explain that she had not meant that she would do so without his consent. It was just an offer, nothing more. His next set of words informing her that he would never wish for something so...painful? Again confusion crossed her gaze, not entirely sure what he would find so painful about her leaving him. After all, he had his lover and if she was enough that he would risk coming to his Overmind and confessing his love, then she must have been something highly special. So...what did it matter if he lost Jinx?
She really didn't know and as much as a part of her wanted to question him, she wouldn't. She just let it go, because asking would just be too much effort and if she knew anything, it was that such questions would lead to emotions and those were something the sinner of sloth was not at all familiar with or comfortable with. A soft nod given as he promised that he would protect her, that that aspect of their relationship had not changed. Though it was the rest of his sentence which struck a nerve with her, one that she wasn't entirely sure she could just let slide.
She was his...and he was her's. The idea one that two days ago she might very well have still believed. One that she very much had spent hours thinking about ever since she had met him. It had been the first time she had been bound to a Reaver and actually felt as though it was how it was supposed to be. Mercer had never felt like...filler..to her, and she had thought that this time was her shot at not being so alone all the time. His absence as of late having brought all those doubts boiling back to the surface...a reminder that she was always alone.
As she curled onto her side, slowly starting to drift off, she would notice too just how perfectly her lithe frame curled into his own. She fit so splendidly against him and as his arms wrapped around her in that familiar, protective manner, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of pain welling up within her chest despite the weak smile that momentarily curled upon her lips. For a long moment, she remained silent, drifting further and further into sleep as she felt his fingers softly stroking her hair. It was again, familiar, and it was a thing she had been lacking for days now...making random naps that much harder for her to achieve.
She was starting to fall asleep, going to let her own doubts lie for the moment, to bottle them up and keep them to herself like she did so many things...but then, those final words came from him as he continued to lull her into a peaceful and somewhat heavy sleep. She was what was best for him? How could that be? How could she be what was best when he so clearly loved somebody else? It didn't make sense.
Unable to open her eyes, or to rile herself up as much outwardly as she felt inside, she would shift within his arms, a little yawn parting her lips. Once it had passed, her voice would break the momentary silence, a few tears felt as they seeped from beneath closed lids and down her cheeks and the sides of her face. Don't..." She trailed off, her breathing becoming heavier and slower as she started to drift off. "...don't be sayin' them things....n-not.."
Again she trailed off, this time not picking right back up as she had finally dozed off. Not for long mind you, merely a couple of seconds, drawing in a sharp breath as she awoke just long enough to finish her thought. "...not when ya love somebody else....not wh-when ya ain't really mine..." The final words slightly slurred as she found talking to be harder and harder to do... "...how can I be...wh-whats good for ya...when I wasn't good e...enough for ya ta love?" And just like that...she was out. The steady, even breaths and the relaxed form that remained pulled against his own a clear sign of that as was the forcefield that instinctively formed around them both....Her own self defense mechanism you could say. Just too bad it only protected her against physical harm.